With my impending appointment with a new doctor, (a reproductive endocrinologist) shining like a big ole scary beacon on my infertility horizon, I thought that this week, National infertility awareness week, is the perfect opportunity to get back up on my infertility awareness soap-box and ask y’all to, ‘join the movement’.
“Join the movement to bring infertility support groups to every community, increase and protect access to all family building options and help change the conversation about infertility.”
For new readers, I have a couple of blog posts about my own infertility journey here:
Don’t ignore, every path has it’s puddle
Taking the first step, for the second time
I have also started a Fertility Friends segment, sharing stories (some, anonymously) from friends of mine who want to share their own journey. If that’s you – please get in touch!
I talk a lot (no way!! lol!) to a lot of people and each week, someone, whether a new friend, someone I’ve known for a while or someone I’ve known for years upon years brings up their own infertility, or the fertility of someone close to them. Even today, at lunch, my friend said to another friend, ‘We (meaning she and I) are ‘aliens’ to many people. The worst experience I had was when a woman asked if I had kids, and when I said no, she turned on her heel and walked away’.
It’s as though some people think they couldn’t possibly have anything in common with someone who has no children, yet if only they knew just how soul destroying the sheer tugging of one’s uterus can be, without them adding additional fuel to our already raging fires.
1 in 8 couples, or approximately 7.1 millions Americans deal with infertility.
1 in 11 couples, or approximately 4 millions Americans deal with secondary infertility, and they account for about 50% of all infertility cases.
However, for me, personally, talking about my own experiences helps me deal with my own journey. Being open with people, whether in my inner circle, or total strangers, helps me understand that my ‘infertility-crazy’, is pretty darn normal. That being totally consumed by the process, the what-if’s, the roller coaster ride, the alienation from pretty much everyone you know, the misconceptions, the hurtful, flippant comments, the smiling through gritted teeth when you’re told ‘just relax, it’ll happen’ is all something that many people go through as well.
It’s not just me.
Your self-doubt and feeling the betrayal of your own body? That’s normal too.
Not only that, but, as it turns out, you can be a family with out kids – no one ever tells you that either, eh?
My own journey is beginning to ramp up, we’ve been unprotected for almost four years, I’ve only done the basic, preliminary testing but I’m getting ready to go see the R.E next week. Clomid cycles, possible laparoscopy, IUI and IVF are all the next steps on this long and difficult path.
I don’t know how far along the path I need to go and, as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t know how far along the path I am prepared to go, or am strong enough to go. But, what I do know, is that I am resolved to give it a bloody good shot.
For those of you who aren’t yet aware, the national infertility association is called RESOLVE. It’s a wonderful organization (that I’ve only fairly recently been made aware of, this is my second year writing a Resolve infertility awareness week blog – my first one is here, I’m super excited to be a part of the movement!) and next month, I am joining their ranks to walk their 5K ‘Walk of Hope’ here in Houston, to raise both awareness for their association, and some cash. Please considering donating a few spare bucks, here.
Each year, RESOLVE celebrates National Infertility Awareness Week with a blog theme, and this year, it’s Join the Movement. I am joining in because I, and many, many people who I love in my life, have been touched by the horrible affliction of infertility and I think it’s something that needs shared and talked about more – not swept under a rug.
We’re all in this together.
We are not alone.
We are RESOLVED.
I AM resolved.
Wishing you much luck and success!
Thank you 🙂
“What I don’t understand is, with so many people suffering from various levels of infertility, why it’s not a more prevalent conversation topic in larger circles? Why, with so many people trudging through the mire, is this hush hush and taboo?”
Whoa! Good point! I mean, it seems like an obvious first question, but I’d never even considered it before. Probably because people equate babymaking with sex. As someone who needed IVF to have a baby…I WISH sex was part of babymaking for us! But anyways…thanks so much for raising your voice every year (well, more often than that, but I’m talking about NIAW) for infertility. You are a gift to those of us out here who struggle with it on a daily basis.
Aw thank you for stopping by and for commenting. I had my first appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist today so there’s another fertility blog in my immediate future, I live in hope that the more I talk about it, the more people will listen, probably not great logic but I’ll keep on tryin’! Feel free to consider sharing your story on my blog if you’d like. I have family members who needed IVF to have a baby and some close friends who got lucky on their 4th round of IUI so they didn’t need to undergo IVF. It’s a long, hard and bumpy road and hopefully today’s appointment opened the door to my path to being a mum!
Wow, you have a lot of people around you who have been through this! Tough to go through, but I suppose they’re probably great resources for you now. I sure hope you find success with this RE!
I can list at least 5-10 people who are in my inner circle that have struggled, and I can name 5-10 more in their circles. It’s crazy and it’s uphill. Hubby feels more positive after the RE, I’m cautious as ever!